It’s a catch 22:
… You know what you want, and you know how you want to show up in life. You’re a driven, determined woman.
But it’s that same determination that also means you live a fast, full and busy life.
So you end up setting yourself goals to change a behavior. Or you keep thinking of how you should feel more of that. Or feel more this way. Then somehow most of those goals seem to slip away before the month end.
Which never seems to happen – because by design – you like to be (and to stay) on the go. Your days just ROLL by, chock full of more important stuff.
So you end up simmering in a pit of self blame and guilt, because you’re always talking about the changes you want, but never actually make them happen. You’re swimming in a pool of broken promises… to yourself…
Enter your Knight In Shining Armour (your K.I.S.A.)
… that’s YOU.
You’re your own best proponent, saver, or ass-kicker!
But you already knew this.
It’s just our human nature to want to be “saved“. To find the answer in something outside of us. Maybe even to find a little magic wand… It would be nice if at least something happened the easy way. Magic is a way of not having to take care of one more thing.
Well - here you go...
Here is my simple and effective behaviour change method – Tiny Little Actions (TLA).
It’s easy to grasp and apply even on a busy schedule, thanks to the use of jewellery! (yeah – I said “jewellery”)
Because it helps you define your goals in small but powerful incremental changes, that are easy to fit in your schedule consistently.
Then using jewellery as a Totem to anchor, trigger and remind you of the change you want to focus on, the process becomes almost easy. The jewellery you love adds an element of fun and beauty to your journey.
It’s a Super-Heroine style transformation.
Using your jewelry to inspire the behaviour and mind-state you desire.
But it’s not magic – it still relies on your active engagement, being clear on your intent, and living from the integral fuel of your core values.
Now you just have a solid and fun way of showing up for yourself consistently.
TLA is a covert way to take control & keep your promises to yourself. Others won’t have a clue. They’ll just marvel at your Super-Powers – your ability to keep your attention on the “prize”.
Let me show you the exact method. Something you can take away today and get started immediately.
Let’s take this through its paces right now :o) Start with the behavior change or mind-state you want to create.
1. What is the one change you've wanted to make?
You either know already, because you’ve been trying to change this for a while (or wanting to try).
Or you don’t have a clear desire at this moment – other than knowing something has to evolve.
If you know – move to step 2.
If you don’t, a brilliant place to start is discovering your core values, and resolving to make them front and center to how you live each day.
Your core values are integral lenses on your world. Knowing them and living solidly by them, will create a stronger sense of integrity and therefore – wellbeing and enjoyment of life.
Come back to step 2 when you’re done :o)
2. Test the viability of your desired change.
Being clear about what you want to achieve at the end of your efforts means:
A: your goal is small enough – so small – you can’t NOT do it.
B: it’s specific – in WHEN it happens and HOW it is done.
C: your goal is urgent – it’s something that’s appropriately aligned with where you’re at now in life, the stuff that matters to you TODAY (not this quarter, or even next month).
D: your goal is emotionally hooked into your heart – it’s something you care deeply about right now.
Does your goal fit in all 4 criteria above?
If not, take some time to make it fit.
A: Don’t be afraid to break a bigger goal into chunks that can fit in a 5min slot. If you do – you’re more likely to show up until it becomes the norm.
Else – you’ll be waiting for the “right time” again…
B: Define it so clearly that your 3 year old self would have no way to misinterpret what you mean.
If you don’t – you’re likely to put it off until you “have the time to figure it out more thoroughly“. Something more important will always make its way in… you know i’m right – right?
Also worth stating your goal as if it’s already a reality: every day after brushing my teeth, I fill up my 2ltr bottle of water and drink it throughout the day to keep myself hydrated and healthy.
C: This one’s easy to tell. Don’t set a goal to run a marathon, if the only running you’ve done to date, is the bath water you prepped for yourself last night. Choose a 5min-run-each-day type goal, show up long enough to make it to 20min. Then see if marathoning is even a thing for you still :o)
Yes I can see your cogs ticking.
And no – you will not be a stagnant failure because you didn’t shoot for the moon.
And we know how every small victory makes for a sweet sweet journey to world domination (and I mean your internal world, of course ;o)
Plus – research shows that because we want the change so much, we are often so fired up to take action, we feel we should match our goal to the size of our enthusiasm. Unfortunately that’s what often makes us fail – because when the reality of showing up consistently kicks in – your initial motivation shrinks inversely proportionally to the time it takes to make the behavior stick.
So aiming smaller here makes sure you will always find the time to keep your promises.
D: This one’s also easy. If wanting this mind-state or behavior change chokes you up – you’ve nailed it.
- ask yourself if there is a more important change you should be focusing on first.
- if you’re still set on this change – use the 5X method to get deeper.
3. Choose your Totem to help you focus on your goal.
Choose the Stone that resonates with you based on the change you want to create for yourself.
There is no right or wrong way to do this. It’s about which of the following stones inspires you to take the action you want to take in this case?
Different things work for different people.
Some gravitate to colour, some to texture, others to shape. Bear in mind the stones in the board below are representative of the type of stone you’ll get. So if you choose a pearl – you will get a pearl, but it will be slightly different than the one you see on the choice board.
That’s the beauty of naturally tumbled stones. There are no two alike. Just like there’s no one else out there like you.
So the stone type, size, colour and quality will be the same – just they won’t look the same (clear as mud?).
Rolling over each stone’s image will show you the typical Super-Powers we’ve come to associate with them. That may also be a way of making your selection.
Next, choose the metal you want to have. Choose from copper, silver (silver filled), or brass (looks like 14K gold).
Finally – choose the type of Totem you want.
You could have a bracelet, earrings, an adjustable ring (also doubles up as a finger crown ring), or a pendant for a chain.
At checkout (in step 4 below), make sure to include your 3 choices in the Notes section, including the size of your ring, or bracelet if that’s what you chose.
4. Do or DO NOT. There is no TRY.
Said Yoda to Luke Skywalker – yes.
But – Oh girl! It’s definitely true in our case here too.
The doing is up to you as always. And I know you knew that too – after all you don’t get as fab as you are without knowing to rely on yourself :o)
How I can help - is by absolutely voting for YOU!
You could take the steps above and make a success of your newly elected goal. I’ve made sure you have all the mission critical info you need.
So if you’re the type of learner who just loves to do things her own pace and her own way – then – go go go girl! Just please come back and let me know how you did.
Also – when you’re ready for your next challenge, come back to the Inspiration section and pick one of the many bite-sized ideas I share with you regularly. That’s a well you could draw from freely.
And of course don’t forget the delicious Totems I have created with love (I mean that – I LOVE making jewellery) – these are also here for you – when you need a new one.
If however (and this is a large chunk of the women I talk to), you prefer to do things in a tribe of people who want the same thing.
AND OR you need a buddy to take you through the process step-by-step.
AND you like to know the reason why and exactly how things work the way they do. Plus some neat and powerful psychological tricks you can call on when things get tougher.
AND you think it would be helpful to meet up once or twice a month for a live session with me and all the other Super-Women who’ve decided to activate their inner K.I.S.A. (or inner Dame – which would be the Knight equivalent for you and I).
Then you’ll want to join us in the Tiny Little Actions Tribe :o)
It’s a modest $19.99 a month. No strings or extras, and you can stop and start when you need to, and as many times as you need to.
The monthly amount gets you:
- the TinyLittleActions done-with-you email course. Which will go in a lot more detail of how and why things work. It will also help you understand how to leverage your natural behavioural tendencies to make things even easier.
- twice a month you get the opportunity to get on a live call with me and the rest of the Dames for a Kick-Starter session. During which we can troubleshoot a behaviour you’re struggling to start or to carry on with. Or a mind-state you may be looking to implement. The sessions’ point is to help you with whatever TLA help you may need.
- you’ll also get the opportunity to connect with all of us in a members-only Facebook group. Because taking tiny little actions consistently is a lot easier in a supportive tribe. Where no one thinks you’re weird and we’re all eager to share what worked.
That's it really...
Now it’s over to you for a decision.
Thanks for being here, and thanks for taking action (I say pre-emptively with hope that I play on your suggestiveness to take ANY action that favours YOU best, my Dame :o)
Pre Pre P.S. Have questions I didn’t cover above? Let me know how I can help.
P.S. Never lose your colour & shine…